Conversations with myself

There’s nothing like waiting on the sidelines watching others live: going through different things, accomplishing goals, moving on and prospering , making the necessary changes in their lives. There’s nothing like waiting on the sidelines. Being all talk but no action. Running your mouth every chance you get. Afraid to make the first move. It’s not that you don’t want change or need it but you’re going through mixed emotions. Feelings of excitement plus fear run through your veins. The excitement propelling you forward encouraging you to do and go for all that you desire never holding back. And the fear does the same thing in certain aspects. Sometimes you get so accustomed to what is or what was and that zone of comfort knowing damn well you’re meant to do more knowing damn well you gotta leave this zone to prosper and grow. You know all this and yet you’re torn. Constantly making plans but no action or rather not enough action. What is it that got to you? I’ll tell you: fear of success and change, the trauma of watching your fellow people being shot and killed so often and for no apparent reason besides the color of their skin, the abuse and the neglect, the isolation, that shell that has been formed around you and the feeling no one understands the desires that have been placed upon your heart. So the questions remain : What you gonna do about it? Will you still wait and watch other live their lives like actors in a riveting motion picture or will you rise up and do what needs to get done? Aren’t you tired of waiting, of just talking, of being overlooked and undermined? Ain’t you tired of being normal when you been blessed with gifts that set you apart to be an amazing game changer? What gives when will it be enough I tell myself ? The plan of action starts with me: getting off the sidelines and getting into the game no longer holding back, making excuses or “drugging myself”: doing things to keep me busy in order to distract me from what needs to get done.