“Loving Yoself FIRST: Self Care & Womanhood”
Remember that you can and continue to overcome and push through. Where you are right now is not a forever thing but rather temporary. Everyday provides you with another opportunity to keep going. You Your business, your 9-5, or any other opportunity you are pursuing will assist you in your journey of being successful and free to live as you wish.
Keep the goals in mind. Preserve your peace. Stay in tune with self. Time spent on others: what they did and did not do won’t ever help. It’s draining and not worth it.
Every act is an act of resistance to the regime and the way you’ve been conditioned and manipulated time and time again.
You know that you know your truth and what your calling is. You know your route to success and what it is you wish to manifest. Take the steps to bring it into reality .
Keep yourself in a positive mindset. You got this. You can do it. I love you and I appreciate you. You are being rooted for and protected. Divinely guided and protected is what you are. Doesn’t matter this pain and suffering that you are enduring your success and your abundance can’t be stopped or thwarted. What has been set aside for you will occur regardless. Remember you have been [planted and your success is here.
You are thriving. Tap into your knowledge and your network spiritually and physically. Take this time to experiment with your art and your creations. Keep taking risks, betting on yourself, putting yourself out there. Intentionally create the life you want to experience.
Be mindful of who and what you share with others even family. You are your own best friend and lover and consultant.
You know fully what you need and desire, how you love to be fed and nourished, what you need to survive and thrive in this world. No one else can love you and treat you like you.
Your self love practice is the most important for your wellness and longevity in this life. I have learned putting yourself last in this world especially as a Black woman is as close to premature death.
If everyone else is putting themselves first why not you? We have seen how they have treated us in the movement. The discourse is telling. Revelations made in time and time again in this world. We are noticing the revelations among us in the flesh. It-the truth that is, cannot be thwarted or suppressed nor more.
The mammying and taking on that of the savior will not save us, you nor me. We are not superhuman or perfect, able to avoid death and wear and tear. Our bodies are just that bodies. The stress of caping for everyone else and leaving ourselves last can be no more.
I’ve been reading up on the #notyourmule movement. It’s so inspiring. A reoccurring reminder to keep self preservation is mind. Self care being the best practice.
Living within the intersection of several indentities its been remarkable to see how things ebb and flow and where they exist in a stark divide like oil and water. Sex and race, two defining markers that can never be forgotten or masked. No matter how many attempts are made.
Trust I’ve tried from wearing excessive clothes to cover the body like a shroud in shame, wearing less makeup and more non-gendered clothing to make myself feel like less of a prey as a women. These attempts at the time, means through which I sought freedom and release from the catcalls, comments, passing judgement, discriminations, all which proved futile.
I have learned it doesn’t make a difference what attempts are made. People continue to perceive you based on their own experiences and conditioning. No way around it.
The only solace I have found is in the means of taking full ownership over self. Getting more intentional with choices. Practicing more autonomy. Focus on all aspects of self care: spiritual, physical, social, community- not just financial. Taking time to get more in tune with self.
The Matter of getting in alignment with self at the core, a process chronic pain forced me to address in the journey to heal. Taking part in activities that bring me joy. Enjoying more of my alone time and not always trying to escape the reality of my circumstances. Writing and getting into nature more.
I have found that reclaiming ownership over self, especially the body and the way in which I live includes the consistent honesty, love and tender care. Treating oneself with the best interest in mind. More than they would a lover, a friend or family.
Remembering and keeping in mind to focus on getting self right especially as women. So often in this world we are conditioned to be worker bees.
Buzzing and doing for everyone. Manage the household. Be the cook. Clean to prove purity and talent. Perform at work and at home for partners. Bear the emotional labor for everyone. Bear the kids and manage them. Lead the community and town efforts. Be the matriarch and keep the home together.
The constant doing every time. Running like the energizer bunny. But who nourishes and keeps the strong ones who hold everyone down? Who checks on them? Who holds space for them when the responsibilities are too much to handle and they need a break? Why must we be expected to nurture and nourish everyone else from a dry well?
Must be want nourish and love on ourselves first before everyone else?
The woman I have learned who can quintessentially do it all are never really carrying the whole ship forward solo. They have help. They have spaces and support systems through which they are poured into and enabled to rest and restore.
To be loved on and desired. To be nourished and poured into. To be respected and cared for. Not to have to fight this fight of life and expected to deal with everything on your own and that of your community too as the women before me and even now are expected to.
I say all this too say in this life as a woman I am learning its imperative to take care of yourself first and foremost. Only when your needs are met can you function to your fullest capacity.
When you are expected to perform for others if possible do so only when you’re supported and encouraged. Being in systems and space that feed your growth and enable you to thrive and not just survive barely getting by till the next day.